Captured memories: Trusting

(This post was written in Feb 2011.)
In late August 2010, I returned to Newcastle from doing theatre in USA & spending family time in Taiwan, unsure what the Lord has in store for me. I found out half way during MasterWorks Festival (MWF) that the rental property I'd been sharing had been sold and that my housemate / friend Winnie had just resigned (from where I also finished working in Jan 2010), and was leaving Newcastle. The Lord was up to something... We both agreed to move out at the end of August. Gordon & Edna, a Godly, retired couple from my local church welcomed me to stay with them while I finish the rest of my year-long Pastoral Prayer Counselling course (Healing The Wounded) in Newcastle. The Lord gave me so much revelation of Himself and His Kingdom through these classes, and I knew He'd use 'Healing the Wounded' as part of His mandate for my life...

Financially I had little cash flow coming in, which is something I've never had to worry about. I've always saved, but I invested my cash. When I returned from USA, I asked my pastor whether she was still interested in hiring me to do work on the church website. After several weeks I was on a paid job one day a week. It wasn't much but it was enough for the season! The Lord taught me a lot about his provision before and during that three month's time... even to the cent! There was one week where I had two bills to pay. I didn't have enough money in my primary bank account to pay for one bill, so I transferred all my money from another account into the primary one. When I did that I realised that the two amounts combined was exactly (to the cent) what I needed to pay one of my bills. I also had a little bit more than enough money in my wallet to pay for the other bill. The Lord is GOOD and He knew what I needed before I even knew it!! The other time was when I had a birthday lunch to go to, and had absolutely no cash. But Edna & Gordon's daughter Susan asked if I'd like to do some baby sitting for her (she has a regular baby sitter but thought to ask me) two days before the birthday lunch. I was humbled and content. I knew He was teaching me to trust in Him for provision and it was exciting to see Him come through each time. I set out to do what He's showing me to do, and He's coming through for me in every way. Even if He doesn't come through for me in the way I expect (imagine) Him to, He's still faithful and takes care of me the way I 'need' to be taken care of. Amen.

Captured memories: Deeper trust...

(This post was penned in February 2011.)
After returning from USA, I also had on my heart to start auditioning for mainstream acting courses, something I'd dreamt about doing since 2005 but wasn't ready to do. In November 2009 when I was in Switzerland on missions, a friend of my missions leader had a vision / prophecy for me, which greatly encouraged me to step up and step out to pursue performing arts. More specifically, I thought about studying with NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Arts). It was shortly after this that the Lord started showing me that I was to resign from my full-time job and go on another adventure with Him. The Lord gave me about a month's grieving time before He asked me to resign, and another five weeks before I moved on. I knew I was in a place of obedience and had peace.

I also turned 30 last year, and had a blast throwing a birthday party with the help of good friends (see chocolate truffle tower on RHS, that was created with the help of a dear friend Rebecca), and was able to return to USA to do theatre with godly, excellent artists in an atmosphere of worship. Looking back, it was a year of 'turning points'. The Lord was enabling me to emerge as my true self.

So I set out to audition for NIDA. I needed to get out of my comfort zone of 'the church culture' and into the lives of everyone outside that culture I've stayed within for the past four years. Hoping to return to MasterWorks in 2011, my options were few and far between. I could do some weekend workshops, week-long workshops, and I can audition for the highly competitive bachelor degree (3,500 applicants for 24 positions) to see what it's like. A bachelor degree seemed like too much commitment for the time being... and I was hoping to find work. The experience of auditioning was what I was after. Tracey called me in late September, asking if I'd like to audition for a part-time, year-long course with her. I thought I couldn't attend the course, and turned it down. The next day, I received news from MWF which to me meant that I wasn't returning to MWF in 2011. I thought perhaps I could audition for the year-long, part-time course after all.

My time at Gordon & Edna's was my happiest time in Newcastle. I was preparing songs and monologues for several auditions; working one day a week at the church, sometimes more; teaching Special Religious Education at the local primary school; doing the counselling course; receiving counselling; being part of cell and church and living with two people whom taught me much by living in faith. I loved the cell I was in. I'd witnessed it grow and go deeper over the three & half years I'd been a part of it, and have developed special bonds with the cell family.

In the midst of this happy season, the Lord was moving some special people in my life... Winnie had left. And one of my closest friends Kasey left YWAM, Newcastle last October and moved back to LA with her husband Rob. My adopted big sis Sophia was planning to leave Newcastle by early 2011. I felt like the Lord was moving me on because He was moving people out of my immediate reach. I still had beautiful friends in Newcastle, and I cherished them dearly. I remembered grieving at the thought of leaving Newcastle for three months when I was about to go to USA. I wasn't ready to leave all the relationships behind... Then I realised that relationships was another big part of my life that I had to entrust the Lord with. Relationships may or may not remain, but He is with me always.